As most of my newsfeed reads today “time for the new year new you bs.” Now, while I don’t necessarily believe in resolutions anymore, I do not condemn them all.
We’ve all decided to “quit smoking,” “exercise daily,” or never to “get back together with….” And yet, for many of us, we seem to repeat the same resolutions over and over again…without actually sticking to them!
Resolutions have become a habitual statement, which doesn’t necessarily mean that we have the slightest intention of pulling through…but I’m here to tell you that it’s completely OK.
While some of us actually manage to quit smoking, lead healthier lifestyles or transform completely (#TransformationTuesday), many of us don’t; that doesn’t make us weak, it just makes us human.
I am very well aware that 2016 has been filled with lots of ups and downs (and especially downs) for most of us, which is why so many are eager for the clock to strike 12, hoping that 2017 will not bear witness to the same mistakes, tragedies and overall gloom. Trust me, I’m hoping for the same thing, minus the “mistakes,” and I’ll tell you why. I believe that our mistakes make us human; we were designed to fail, to get up, to fail again and to get up again…there’s no shame in that!
To be honest, I didn’t stick to the resolutions I made last year, and neither did many of my friends, who (and I use their words) “deeply regret” repeating the same “mistakes” over and over again; I happen to have a different take on things; I do not do regret; I do not believe in it for one simple reason: at one point, it is exactly what I needed or wanted to do, so I went ahead and broke my promises to myself…and it’s OK. Our mistakes make us who we are; they build our character and teach us lessons we would’ve never learned otherwise. No matter how many times I was warned to stay away from this or that, I still did it if I wanted to…so those “mistakes” are on me; but as I said, in my world, I view them more as “lessons learned,” and I assure you, once you really learn the lesson, you will stop repeating it over and over again. Sometimes, however, it takes more than 20 times for us humans to finally get it, which again, is completely fine.
Life is cyclical, and as cliché as this sounds, “history repeats itself,” so we’re bound to repeat some mistakes. I’m not saying we’re forever doomed, because we’re not! (The good news is, that we do eventually get out of the labyrinth, but that’s another story!) What I’m saying is that we need to accept that no, we will not necessarily stick to every resolution, but if we do, that’s great too!
All I’m asking you to do is to not look at your repeated mistakes or broken promises to yourself as failures. Do not blame yourself for letting go or giving in every once in a while (even though you keep telling yourself “you know better”).
So for this upcoming year, try to promise yourself this one, seemingly simple thing (and I am not calling this a resolution!) –you will not regret anything—no matter how big or dramatic it appears to be. Further on up the road you’ll realize it happened for a reason, whether good or bad, but the reason was there and there was something you needed to learn or understand; your “mistake” will turn into a blessing in disguise and when you look at it from that perspective, you will be thankful for it, I promise you!
Happy New Year everyone!